Finding my own power instead of looking for it in someone else.

She didn’t know what to talk about.

It was another call with her coach. A mentor. Also a friend.

She logged into Google Meet and immediately wondered if this had been the wrong time. He was walking around like maybe he forgot. The sound of Kids and what sounds like chickens in the background. It sounded grounding though. Like real life. He had to send the kids away and she instantly felt bad. Like she was inconveniencing him.

“So what’s up?” he said softly, that thick accent calm as always.

She still wasn’t at ease. Still distracted by whether this was a bad time. The ceilings behind him looked yellow. He had a blue button up shirt on and no hat today.

“I’m good. Just trying to figure out what I should be doing with my life these days.”

He started sharing thoughts. Letting ideas float. Waiting for something to resonate. Nothing really did at first.

Then her nervous system started calming down.

That’s when she realized, she was safe.

When he finished, he asked what resonated. He always asks that. What landed. What made sense. He leaves space like that. Doesn’t rush to fill it. Doesn’t rescue. Doesn’t interrupt.

And in that space, she felt seen.

When the emotion came, it surprised her. It wasn’t about anything he said. It was about how her body felt.

She wasn’t judged.

She wasn’t cut off.

She wasn’t managed.

She was allowed. As is.

She realized she had always had the answers. She just needed a place that felt steady enough to find them.

When she told him how powerful that was, he quickly said,

“Those aren’t personality traits. They’re qualities developed when you feel grounded and safe with a healed nervous system.”

That struck her.

Because what moved her wasn’t him.

It was the safety.

And safety doesn’t belong to a person.

Someone can create safety. But learning to build it within herself is where it’s powerful.

It’s a state.

If that steadiness can be developed, then it isn’t rare. It isn’t something you cling to. It’s something you build.

She doesn’t need someone else to hold that space forever.

She can create it.

And maybe growth isn’t finding someone who sees you.

Maybe it’s learning how to feel safe enough in your own body… to see yourself.