"How to Manage and Overcome Emotions of No Feeling"

I am wondering lately if I have developed apathy.

Since brain rehab 6 months ago it has been a struggle on knowing where to step.

I relied so much on my anxiety and depression to tell me where to go.

But since I am not feeling that anymore, I feel lost. Brain Rehab healed that part of my brain. But now I am onto another phase of healing.

I need those emotions. Depression and anxiety. Emotions help me know how to respond in any given situation. @ceciletuckercounselling said it best: “it is normal to feel fear when someone is getting loud and angry at us because this is our body’s way of saying “danger! Get away.”

And

“It is normal to feel upset and disappointed when someone is rude to us. This is our body’s way of saying, “this is not okay with me and I do not want it to continue.”

But when I don’t have any of these emotions, then what?

Sadly even the emotions that feel good in my body I don’t feel. Like excitement and happiness. Or peace, and motivation.

I decided to start keeping a running list of those things that get me excited. I wanted to focus on excitement. My counselour told me that to escape apathy, I need to do things that are new or exciting, It’s hard to come up with those things when I feel apathy, but paying attention with my desire and and feelings I may be on to something. This will help me see that I do still feel. It’s hard to explain what excitement feels like for me. Its like it takes a little breath away. It’s kind-of a feeling of a giddy scream wanting to come out.

Here is my list so far of things that get me excited (there is no special order)

Getting to eat a creami ice cream

A text from someone unexpected with a friendly message

A new shipment of protein

Accomplishing a task list

Eating out

Filling my fridge full of food after a grocery trip

Sunshine and singing birds

A walk with my kids

A debunked clean room

Aesthetic kitchen

The feeling after exercise

A fun tv show

A good book

Reading and studying something spiritual

Have a deep conversation with someone and creating that connection

Teaching a fitness class

Talking to strangers and getting to hear their story

I think for now I need to give myself grace.

I need to recognize my progress.

I need to enjoy those things that excite me.

I need to be more present with everything in my life.

Tell me a few things that excite you. Tell me if you are struggling with a loss of feeling. What are you doing about it?

Much love,

J